I grasp for things I cannot touch and cannot have. I believe in so little, yet allow so much. Not spiritually (I'm a happy little Buddhist), but mentally. I find that Kira has worn off on me to the point of combustion. I'm living my life my implausible contradictions; that part of me that is still remotely human and thawed out wants the believe in it like a child. Like Kira does.
That part of me wants the beautiful gift of empathy. I feel everything, I want to be passive, I want to be as...innocent as he is. But the bigger part of me, the cold, quick-tempered, apathetic, virtue-less wants to stay under the layers of eyes and sneers at itself for even considering thinking that way. It's as if I'm going thru this small death inside of myself. Ice consumes my lungs, and fire implodes my heart.
So the question comes to me...has Kira finally made me....human? Has he thawed me out that much...has he really made me feel? Can I breathe again....
Is this something I should be mourning or...celebrating?