I can feel my skin dying around me, I can hear nothing but grinding as everything is slowly shutting down. I claw at myself, simply because I can not stand being in this skin anymore. I want out. I would love nothing more than to see it ripped all to shreds. It's too weak and too vulnerable, and the simple process of living in an completely obsolete day to day life is absolutely absurd to me.
I do not feel as if I belong here. It's simple, really. Nothing about me is right. I have always lacked the most basic skills and knowledge that seem to be instinctual to others. I consistently feel claustrophobic, I can not remember half of my life, I scratch till I bleed, slam my head into walls, and break down shaking and crying without a que, does any of that seem right at all? I don't belong here.
Nothing short of a lobotomy will make me at ease with any of my surroundings. All I want to do is destroy it, because all it does is fill the air with the stench of death. I don't want it's decay near me, I don't want it to start rotting me. Nothing is precious, nothing is sacred. Nothing but him, anyway. Sometimes all I think about is killing him, freeing him from the same bonds that are rotting away at his soul. I would prefer nothing more than to eradicate and cleanse it all, make the air pure again.
All I can smell is decay, all I can feel is myself dying slowly. I just want to rip myself free from this disgusting, rotting shell of flesh and let it all be destroyed. For the good of my soul.