I can feel myself lying in wait for something that I don't even beguin to understand. Nothing is really monochrome. Except me, that is. I don't...even know what I want. Tears flow like poison but it's hard to let them go away.
I have everything I want, and everyhing I need. But something inside of me is crying out for something...else. Some kind of recognition. Some kind of reasurence. I can watch the world decay all that I want, but it's not enough. I'm selfish, I'm insignificant. I want...someone other than Kira to tell me that I have a reason to exist. That I'm worth something.
Sometimes it feels as if I can never stop mourning. I can feel...like something has been lost, and I need to say goodbye to it. I do not understand these things, but I know somewhere inside, like some sort of sweet melancholy dream. It's so hazy now, but I know I need to say goodbye. I need to say goodbye to what I lost, but how can I when I don't even know what it is?......