I am the villain. I am the anti-hero. Everyone would agree, right? After all, I have merciless shattered people, and enjoyed it. I was the one forced to make the hard decisions. It was me who had the responsibility to protect the four of us for the greater good. Whatever it involves, I am always more than willing to do it. Am I the only one who realizes what needs to be done? Am I the only one who realizes the sacrifices that need to be made if we are to survive?...
Josh...him and Mercutio got into it the other day. Josh was getting dangerous. Kage called me frantically, and I rushed over. I took a plank of wood and swung at the back of his head. He was bleeding quite a bit. I don't know if he'll be okay, I don't know if I will face any repercussions. I don't really care. His wife, Torin, grabbed him and was crying and screaming my name and, "how could you?" over and over again. Everyone looked at me...with eyes full of ire and disblief. It was something I had to do, and I am not going to regret that. I kept Kira away, and when he finally showed up, he just asked me why. Because I had to. More than Mercutio would have been hurt, he would have gone after Kage, the others...and all I had to do was make a sacrifice. I asked Kira how he expected us to live if he wasn't willing to make sacrafices. For the greater good. For the four of us. I cried into his chest. I wasn't ashamed of my actions, but I was ashamed that it was my hands that had to be stained with the smell of blood.
Kira, the others...their wings are so wonderfully white. So pure and bright. But mine are dingy, and my eyes are circled in black. And Kira...he can make any situation end in peace. He dosen't need to use the methods I do. Kami-sama, I wish I could be more like him. Sometimes...I just wish I could be as clean and pure, I wish I didn't have to make these decisions. I sit there by my window and close my eyes at night. I pretend...that things were different. That we didn't have to make these decisions. That we had been given another fate. Just...the three of us...and him. Paradise.
There is reality, thou. Decisions must be made, and I am the only one strong enough to make them. So I don't mind being stained.
I know I have done many things that are wrong. I have deeply hurt people because I had do, but it did entertain me. I do not mind, thou. I know my decision is that right one [for me], so these small indiscretions do not mean anything. I know it's for the greater good. I might be the villain...but that dosen't mean I can't...dream...