Another bloody stain on the wall....
2004-01-18 11:17 p.m.

Sometimes words just don't come easy. Sometimes tears take their place, knees become bloodied. I have fallen on them so much lately that I can barely feel it anymore. Numbness takes the place of instict, and I can't help but laugh at the absurbity of it all. It's just too fucking hilarious. Oh well, I'm covered in blood again.

I had another attack today. It wasn't too bad, though. I guess I've gotten use to the frequency. I'm not too sure what happened. Unfortunetly, the frequency is causeing me to remember less and less about them. I woke up with a fucking headache. Seeing the odd shaped little blood splotches on the wall, I assume I slammed my head there till it bleed. I also somehow managed to get the razor blades for my shaved and cut myself up a bit. Just great. Now my hairs matted down w/ it, and I have to figure out a way to hide it before anyone sees. Just fucking great. And I have to figure out how to explain this to Kira.

Kira, that's the cause of it anyway, right? Of course it is. What else can set off one of my little attacks? It wasn't his fault, anyway. It was an unaviodable occurance that was small and neither of our faults, and it still made me go off. Why? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? Fuck, it hurts this time...I'm sore all over.

I just wanna cry. Or laugh. Or something. I hate self-pity, but I feel like whining. Kira can't be here for be to cry on, so I'm using you. Deal.

+==Destroy Once Done==+