I guess I've been a bit mindless lately. I've been just so...stupefied by a lot of events lately. I used to be to quick and sharp and hyperactive and compulsive...and now I feel like I've slumped into cement. I used to have such a lust for everything...but now I can barely open my eyes w/o wanting to close them again. Honestly, I don't understand why. I'm not trying to pity myself here, I just wanna know why. I'm a bit too accepting, ne?? Everything is so under maintained. Hell, if I had to do more than write what I would normally write, this would never be used.
FUCKING HELL, I'm tired of this!!! I have what I want, and what I need, and kami-sama, I'm happy, I really am. And fuck, I do appreciate it. So why am I still so fucking warmed over? It just...makes me laugh, I'm pathetic. FUCKING PATHETIC!!!!!
I have everything to live for, yet I do not have the drive to do anything but breathe. It's so close....and yet I'm reminiscing on a year ago. All I wanna do...is be able to accept and appreciate everything like I want to.