Throat clenches off, a million words that should spill like tears trap themselves inside, drowning. The skin is just a few tones above neutral, and the taste of blood is nothing new.
Dreams...silly little things. Constantly remind of exactly what your not. Exactly what is missing. The pain of loss is overwhelming. But it is NOTHING NEW! Why should I hurt? Why don t have calluses of these scars?
Scent...beautiful and familiar. The soft warmth, breathing in his smell. Eyes closed and pressed against some sweet span of flesh. It s all so perfect...it's all I really want...
But to awaken...to nothing. Dank rooms, shorten breath and infringing light. It is all nothing new. The pain throbs thru my chest, and I can not help but sob.
Sanctuary is miles away. The metal stings into my legs and keeps me here. My dirty wings are clipped. I would give anything to wake up in the same position I woke up in four years ago. My own blood...stains my hands...and there is little I can do about it. All I yearn for...is ripped from my arms, for little more than convenience.
All I desire...is to fade into the background. With him. I just want to live...I have paid my dues. I have experienced a good amount of pain. Can't I have my drug? Can't I have my sanctuary?