I grasp onto the white, shaking. My back is gashed, my arms tired. I continue on, because I understand the situation, my importance there.
I am grateful for what I have, really I am. It might not be much, but it's mine. The one thing that matters. And whatever it takes to keep mine and Kira's wings from being clipped, I'm willing to do. No matter how much my legs want to collapse, no matter how much it hurts.
I understand that I am uncared for. I'm...just a body of convenience for those who call me "friends". I know I don't matter to you, to anyone...and I don't have any ire against you for it. I don't blame you. Really, who could care for me? I'm unloved by everyone except Kira and it's okay. I'm just...unlovable.
So I guess this is my way of saying that I'm sorry. Things have crumbled around me...and I've only supported myself, really. I just can't take the extra weight on my wings anymore. I can only handle my pain and Kira's pain, I just can't mend everyone else's problems. It's not my responsibility to make decisions for them anymore.
So it's okay if you want to leave, it's okay if you just wish to ignore me now. I understand why no one would want my disease on them. It's natural. Don't mistake this as self-pity; I'm just simply stating something that needed to be said while I'm "in the middle" enough to say it. I have my green-eyed white-winged angel to support me, so you can leave guilt free. I understand why you don't want to be around, really I do.
I'm grateful for everything I have. I'll never let that go. The decisions we have made thus far have carried me in what I consider the best possible path. As long as I am able to stand, I will fight. With my wrists bound, I will continue to do what it takes to make things right.
I fight because I love him. I fight because I believe. I fight because I can.