Desensitised Children
2004-09-12 11:34 p.m.

We drove down the highway in the late night hours, screaming and howling like demons. "DOWNSHIFT! DOWNSHIFT!" The four children sung along as loudly and off key as possible, while Honda drove as fast as the car would allow him. Swerving as much as possible, all of us were intoxicated by our own little death wishes.

Every single one of us willed the car to flip, blow up, something. All of us wanted to die in our own way. Not because we were depressed or despised our lives; no, in fact, we were so in love living that we wanted it to all end right there. So intoxicated by life, that we didn't want to be let down we went to sleep in our own beds.

The ecstasy of the moment is so intoxicating. Despite our own lives, despite the depression and absolute agony we receive from having white wings, we were actually happy. Sitting in that car, not caring about our daily lives, not caring about our secrets and our duties, nothing. And we just wanted it to stay that way. I didn't want to go home to my empty room, the walls stained with my own blood from my manic attacks; I didn't want to lay in my bed and cry over what I've recently lost. I know the others didn't want to, either. So we sat there, wanting so much to take the easy way out. To let our personal demons go up in flames, along with us.

Obviously, we all came home in one piece. And I feel like I've fallen off of the Tower of Babel. Was it a stupid move? Certainly. Blame it on desensitising, blame it on the lack of pills, blame it on our lack of fear, blame it on our godless existence, blame it on Marilyn Manson. But all we really want is to be happy. To be able to feel some sort of peace. I don't want dispise being happy because of how painful it is to come off of, I just want to be noraml. Is it that big of a sin?

All I really want is to be happy.

+==Destroy Once Done==+