lost
2003-10-26 6:16 p.m.

I was sitting here, as usual, doing my a-typical and mediocre things. I glanced over at someone I love, and read a song from someone that I believed in so badly that is dead now, and I can't help but fall in the fact that everything and everyone I love will die and stop existing along with me. I can't help but I collapse on myself that everything I love will just go away. I just wanna...I just wanna hold on and appriciate everything and make good use of my limited time but I can't seem to. I cna't seem to stop taking everything for granted and I can't stop wasteing time! I just wanna enjoy everything and I can't do anything but forget about it and let it slip by. I'm trying my best but I can't help I'm letting myself lose everything in the technicalities. I just can't stop crying, because I just wanna enjoy everything and I just wanna enjoy my life and the people...but I can't and I don't know how to stop mourning it. I feel desperate to cling on to the things that mean something and block out the things that don't so I'm not wasteing time. I just wanna make sure I'm happy in leaving this behind, and I don't regret too badly the things that I can not change and I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to regret too much! I don't want to lose anything! I don't want to be left behind! So much of me wants to just...give up now so I don't lose anything else. I want to alive but I can't help like feeling half dead. Please, I don't want to waste my time! I just want to...I want to appriciate everything before it fades away. Is it already faded? Have I wasted my rime? Should I have made different choices a year ago? I don't want to regret anything! Please just let me stay I just wanna stay, please stay...Please don't leave me. I don't wanna mourn anymore. I DON'T WANNA MOURN ANYMORE!!!!!!!





+==Destroy Once Done==+