People can never understand how much it hurts to be dead for so many number of years then suddenly feel for the first time, no one can understand what it's like when you breathe for the first time. Kira dosen't seem to grasp how much it hurts knowing he's been with these girls, seeing them almost every day, dealing with the dirty looks. Dealing with them still being "friends" (friends meaning "I-still-wanna-fuck-you-Kira") and he has the nerve to get hurt or mad at me when I say any little thing about it. He lived w/ one of them while he was with me for Ra's sake!! I was virgin white, everything I have ever expierienced has been with him. He could never understand how much it hurts. The thing is, I wouldn't have been a quarter as hurt if it was with guys. But those fucking whores of his---they gave him something I can NEVER give him. I wish I was like everybody else. I wish I could easily make all that go away. Some times I just wish he had never kissed me and saved me, that he had just let me die like I was suppose to. But I'm not. I'm a fucked in the head little queer that'll never be normal.
So I'll just sit here and mourn over something that can never change, over a pain Kira could never feel.
Walking, waiting
Alone without a care
Hoping and hating
The things I cannot bear
Did you think it's cool to walk right up
To take my life
And FUCK IT UP!
Well did you?
I hate you
I've slept so long without you
It's tearing me apart to
How'd you get this far
Playing games with this old heart
I've killed a million petty souls
But I couldn't kill you
I've slept so long without you
I see hell in your eyes
Taken in by suprise
TOUCHING YOU MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE
TOUCHING YOU MAKES ME DIE INSIDE